Monday, July 28, 2014

I'm Afraid to Fall in Love (Poem)

I'm afraid to fall in love,
I think I tried that way back when . . .
Back when I still believed
That love would never hurt me
Or deceive me,
Or desert me,
Never let me down again.
So won't you forgive me, please,
If I'm a bit of a slowpoke,
I promise this isn't any joke - -
I am just a “fraidy cat,” it's true,
Even though I'm totally nuts about you.

You see, I know for certain
That I like you a whole lot - -
That it feels good to hold you tight,
That I could kiss you half the night,
That I've gotten so used to you
That I'd be awful sad to lose you,
But beyond that, honey,
I must admit that I'm ashamed to say . . .

I'm afraid to fall in love.
What if what we share goes away?
What if you don't want to stay?
What if I'm not good enough somehow?
What if the timing isn't right just now?

I can say for sure how wonderful
It feels spending time with you,
How I daydream half the day away,
Wondering if you're thinking of me too.
I imagine sitting near you,
Calling you “my dear,” too.
When I feel you hold my hand,
I hope that you can understand,
But do you?

I'm afraid to fall in love.
So many painful words were spoken,
My heart has been so badly broken.
Has it finally healed itself?
Don't tell anybody else, but
I'm afraid to say “I love you.”
I'm not sure what that would mean.
Would it mean that we belong together?
Would it mean we'd last forever?
Please forgive me for not knowing
Just exactly where we're going,

I'm afraid to fall in love,
So how about we just go fishing,
Spend some time, and keep on wishing
To be friends for just awhile?
I sure do enjoy your smile.
When we're apart it's not the same,
And at the mention of you name,
I must admit,
I blush a little bit.
This feels somehow new to me,
It's been so long since I felt this way --
You have no idea what you do to me,
With the things you do and say.
Simple things that aren't so simple,
Things that make me want to fall,
Things that make me want to crawl
Begging on my hands and knees,
“Won't you stay forever, please!”

But I'm afraid to fall in love.
So if it's quite alright, I won't.
You can fall in love with me, if you want,
But it might be safer if you don't.
Because my heart's still kind of healing
And my mind's still sort of reeling
I'm just trying to stay afloat.
I don't want to say the words
Until I know I mean them.
And I suppose it's far too soon
To know for sure how I feel,
But I thought I'd let you know

I'm headed that direction,
Towards falling in love,
And it's scaring me to death.
I can barely take a breath.
When I look into your eyes,
It catches me by surprise,
And I'm not sure what to do or say?
Does it matter anyway?
I suppose what's meant to be will be,
Without help from you or me.

It's just that sometimes at night
I lie awake. I can't sleep.
My mind is full,
And my thoughts are deep.
Wondering if you're “the one,”
Wondering if you even care,
Or if I'm just another person
To take somewhere
And do stuff with.
Hang out for awhile,
Catch a quick hug & kiss.

I feel so very unsure,
So confused and insecure.
I don't know where to go from here,
If I give you the wheel,
Will you steer?

I don't know this road very well.
The last time I drove down it,
It went straight to hell.
Please be patient with me if
I'm worried we'll drive right off a cliff . . .
You see, it wouldn't be the first time
Someone broke this heart of mine.
And I don't know how many crashes I can take,
How many more times my heart can break,
Before the shattered pieces can never
Again be put back together.

So you see . . .
It's quite the awful tragedy . . .
What on earth will you do with me?
I'm afraid to fall in love.