Wednesday, September 9, 2020

Nobody Cares (poem)

 


Echoes wander through the empty halls
Strange cries and moans bouncing off the walls
Doors close and open, as if on command.
Daylight fades to darkness in this world of the damned.
What crime did they commit to be sentenced here?
What have they done that society should fear?
We are different in soul, so that makes us unique
And most don't understand the language that we speak.
Memories of bondage within these shadowy confines
Professional and personal, the staff blurred the lines.
Touching us in secret when they thought no one could see
Violating every part of us, and that included me.
Wagering against all odds that we would stay insane,
They played their hand too poorly to win at the game.
For although we were the "cast asides,"
The shattered souls and jilted brides,
We had our strengths and sense of pride,
And that they underestimated.
They could not see our will to live,
To try to forget, to heal and forgive,
To catch memories flowing through each mind's sieve,
Our thoughts were never communicated.
We spoke through wandering, vacant eyes.
We screamed by refusing their puddings and pies.
We knew that within them were just more meds,
That filled our brains with thunder and fogged up our heads.

And yet, they said, we had to stay
They claimed there was no other way
To calm the crazy out of us
Who rode the slightly shorter bus.
But were we less human than those of them
Who pointed their fingers, time and again?
Were we less worthy of love and affection?
Didn't we deserve more than creepy correction?
What had we done to deserve this foul jail?
Was there some test we'd unknowingly failed?

Though it's decades ago, I cannot shake the stench
Of the hypocrisy from each orderly and wench
Who shoved pills down our throats till we wanted to hurl
All the while telling us we're what's wrong with the world.
And taking advantage of our time of need,
Leaving our hearts and souls out to bleed.
They stole from my youth what was precious and dear
And left in its place torrid mem'ries and fear.

How I wish I could find them and lock them up there,
Throw away the key, and not even care.
For to them I was only a file number
Who was either awake or deep within slumber.
Did I remember to toilet? Did I take a shower?
Did I show up for group at the recommended hour?
They didn't care if they were helping me at all.
Their persistent abuse drove me up the wall.

If I wasn't crazy when I first went through that door,
I sure was when I left, more than ever before.
They made me believe I would never be "right,"
They taught me there's no point in putting up a fight.
The borrowed from my dreams and left me nightmares,
But then again, the whole world's like that . . .
For nobody cares.