Keep On Keeping On

Woke up sweating,
Shaking;
Peed the bed.
The smell of him's
Still swirling
In my head.
His voice, his hands,
The way he wouldn't stop
Or let me speak.
I'm back to just a blob;
I feel so weak.

Why can't that BASTARD
Find a hole somewhere
To crawl into?
Why can't he grasp
The fact we're through?
Hate is not a word
That's strong enough
To express how I feel.
I don't hate HIM, per se,
Because that would be wrong;
Besides, it's over,
He lost,
And I won.
I'm still here.
And although I still shake,
With each new step I take,
With each bond that I break,
With each promise I make,
I am that much closer
To being free ...
To finding out who it is
That is "me."

I still don't care for waking
In the middle of the night.
I'm not too fond of shaking
And pissing myself from fright.
Someday I know I'll be stronger --
Til then I'll keep on keeping on,
And hang on a little while longer.

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