Nobody Really Cares

Oh sure, they may pretend to care for awhile, so long as they find me or my pathetic life interesting ... so long as I can fulfill some NEED for them (a ride to the store, free babysitting, free groceries, help fixing their car, help writing their resume, etc).

There are even some people who may start out caring, but then it just gets to be too much like work. They listen (or at least pretend to listen) for awhile. They're happy to tell me how they "know just how I feel" because they got in an argument once with their spouse. Or they say I'm so "inspirational" because I have such extraordinary FAITH in God. Here's the thing -- I don't think I have a bigger/better faith in God than anybody else does. I just trust Him for EVERYTHING because He's the only one I have. He's ALWAYS there & never LEAVES ME ALONE.

So often well-meaning people say they'll pray for us. That's all well & good -- and I'm not saying prayer doesn't help ... but I need MORE than prayer. I need somebody BE HERE WITH ME through this, to HOLD me, to COMFORT me. I need somebody to wipe away the tears streaming down my face ... to tell me that someday my kids will eventually be okay ... to help me find me a JOB that pays enough so that we won't be HOMELESS in 6 months ... to invite me over to their house for no reason other than that they WANT to spend time with me doing something fun ... to call me up on the phone "just to chat" ... to send me silly pictures & text messages out of the blue ... to make me feel like I MATTER as a person ...

Sometimes I feel like I could just as well have stayed and let him rape me and scream at me and whip me and throw things at me and laugh at me. At least he NOTICED me! At least I knew was good for SOMETHING! Right now, all I know is that I'm a good Mom & I've done everything I can for my kids. I will keep doing the best that I can ... but I'm not holding my breath that we'll get any "breaks" ... God has already blessed us in so many ways ... And I know He will continue to provide ... but when it comes to people? When push comes to shove, nobody really cares about anybody but themselves. Everyone has his or her own set of problems & difficulties. And sadly, we're often too busy "surviving" to worry about anybody else.