We Are People (sonnet)

We are not things, we are people you know.
We have feelings and thoughts all of our own.
We have things to do and places to go.
We have people to talk to on the phone.
You are no better than some of us are
But for a twist of fate you would be here.
Some of us are born under the same star.
Some of us just wander throughout the year.
It isn't what you have that makes you glad --
It's what you have that you didn't before...
It's what you do with all the things you have --
It's making the best of a complete bore.
So just don't fight the way things seem to be.
What's true will come to light eventually.

Confusion (collage)

There are simply not the words to describe how I'm feeling right now.  I'm at a crossroads in life where there is no clear direction as to where I should go next or what I should do.  My identity is shrouded in a black trench coat -- a mystery even to me.  There are so many questions, so much confusion . . . so, I made a collage . . , you know what they say -- "a picture's worth a thousand words."

Who Knows? (sonnet)

Who can say where the road will go from here.
Who can know the twists, the turns, the dead ends.
Who can know when there'll be an end to fear.
Who knows who are enemies, who are friends.
How do I navigate this winding course?
How do I battle nightmares in the day?
How do I grieve what was taken by force?
How do I make the mem'ries go away?
When will I feel like I am whole again?
When will I do all the things that I must?
When will I forget the places I've been?
When will I finally learn how to trust?
The future is something I cannot see.
Guess I'll just have to keep on being me.

I Have No Clue (sonnet)

Here and there are pieces flying by --
Fragments of a past I never wanted.
Pain that sears my soul, still I cannot cry,
Despite the mem'ries with which I'm haunted.
Then and now and here and there are just mush,
A maelstrom raging deep within my soul.
The race to heal makes me feel in a rush,
And yet my heart is still so full of holes.
Particles of past and present now fuse
To create some freakish thing I call "me."
But after all the torture and abuse,
I have no clue who I'm supposed to be.
Is there a blueprint somewhere for a "self,"
Or must I put my questions on a shelf?

Never Be the Same (sonnet)

From the moment we met, I ceased to live.
My self became a shadow with no voice.
I gave you all of me that I could give.
You never even gave me one small choice.
I soon stopped even thinking for myself --
My thoughts didn't really matter at all.
It was your way or the highway, or else . . .
Either way, I was up against a wall.
Your brutal acts convinced me hope was dead.
I gave up even feeling what you did.
Each time you drug me off to go to bed,
I found a spot inside my head and hid.
A child was all I was before you came.
I know that I will never be the same.

I Forgot It All

How many yesterdays have come and gone
Since I first felt the burning sting of shame?
When did I find a shelf to place it on,
The things I couldn't face and couldn't name?
How many years have passed since I lost track
Of things I never thought that I'd forget?
When did I bury all my dreams out back,
Amidst the desert sand and my regret?
How many moons ago did I give up,
Convinced it was my lot in life to be
Content to sip this awful, bitter cup,
And never let the sorrow get to me?
Time doesn't heal all wounds, as I recall;
There was a reason I forgot it all.

What is me? (Sonnet)

What are these shackles wrapped around my soul
So tightly that I cannot draw a breath?
This struggle deep within to keep control;
It wears me down til I have nothing left.
Try as I might, I cannot seem to find
The words to fit the feelings that abide
Within the cloudy regions of my mind.
What if there's nothing left of me inside?
Am I composed of places that I've been,
Or am I made of things that have been done?
What if I find in going back again,
A maze I can't explain to anyone?
Who am I, what is me, do I belong?
Have I been masquerading all along?

I Wish I Knew (Acrostic Sonnet)

Why did my tears escape the concrete dam?
How could I just relax and let them fall?
Am I so out of touch with who I am
That I don't know the things I feel at all?
Do I believe I'll never see the end
Of all this pain that's turned my heart to stone?
If I could have one wish, I'd like a friend,
Lest I forever live my life alone.
Of course, this wasn't how my life was planned.
No matter what I fear, I know I must
Go forth and grasp tomorrow by the hand,
Forget the past, and somehow learn to trust.
Of all the things I wish that I could feel,
Right now I wish I knew that love was real.