I Love You as a Fire (sonnet)

I love you as a fire that burns so deep,
It cannot be put out by storm or sea.
A love so strong, it calls me in my sleep
And beckons me to dream of you with me.
I love you, though I don't know why I do,
Or why I feel the things you make me feel.
I find myself daydreaming about you
And praying that this love we share is real.
I love you, though I don't know for how long
I'll get to hold you in these arms of mine.
Your love is like a gentle, soothing song
That sings within my soul most of the time.
Your eyes, your smile, your touch, your hair, your smell;
Which of these things are best, I cannot tell.

Note: Yes, I did write this one.  I had to give it a try!

Love Sonnet by Pablo Neruda

(Translated from Spanish By Mark Eisner)

I don’t love you as if you were a rose of salt, topaz,

or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:

I love you as one loves certain obscure things,

secretly, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that doesn’t bloom but carries

the light of those flowers, hidden, within itself,

and thanks to your love the tight aroma that arose

from the earth lives dimly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,

I love you directly without problems or pride:

I love you like this because I don’t know any other way to love,

except in this form in which I am not nor are you,

so close that your hand upon my chest is mine,

so close that your eyes close with my dreams.

Note: I wanted to write a love sonnet, but none that I could write would come close to this.  And it describes how I feel to a 't.'

Great Spirit in the Sky (sonnet and song)

The Great Spirit in the sky watches me.
His eagle flies o'er me with its strong wings.
I see His Spirit in ev'ry tall tree.
I hear His voice in every bird that sings.
I feel His breath as the wind rushes by.
I see His face painted on each flower.
I see His tears fall as rain from the sky.
I sense His presence ev'ry single hour.
He guards each step I take with His strong hand.
He sends me dreams at night to guide my way.
He tells me things I will not understand
Until my soul crosses over someday.
I'm kept by the Great Spirit in the sky.
I am watched over by His loving eye.

Will Justice Ever Come? (sonnet)

Justice is like a sick turtle and yet,

It might just get here eventually.

In the meantime, you will wait YEARS, I bet,

Waiting for some form of justice to see.

Justice is like a blind mouse in a maze,

It just cannot find its way to the cheese.

Those who desire it are left in a haze,

Wondering if they dare even believe.

Justice is almost like fake fingernails.

It looks nice, but you know they are not real. 

It's silly to think that justice prevails,

It's absurd to believe in a square deal.

Will justice ever come for me and mine?

Who knows, maybe if we wait a long time.



What Do You Say? (sonnet)

What do you say when the words are all gone?
How can you sing when your life's out of tune?
Can anything be right after the wrongs?
What can you build out of a life in ruins?
How should I feel when I still love, but can't
Be with a drunk man who will never change?
I wish I could give up now, but I shan't.
There's nothing I can even rearrange.
I had the dream with the white picket fence,
The kids in the yard, and the normal life.
How could I have been so blind and so dense
That I would find myself a monster's wife?
Sometimes I miss the good days in between;
But I don't miss the usual hellish scene.

How Do I Hate Him? (sonnet)

(yes this is after the style of Elizabeth Barrett Browning's Sonnet)

How do I hate him? Let me count the ways.
I hate him for making me change my plans.
I hate him for all his rude demands.
I hate him for ruining the best of days.
By day the mem'ries, the nightmares at dark
Flow through my being like river to sea.
I hate him for putting this fear in me.
I hate him for breaking my only heart.
I hate him, truly, as time goes on by,
I can find no reason to forgive him.
He tortured me at his every whim,
Without needing a single reason why.
I hate him for making my future grim.
I hate him for making my spirit cry.

Remember the Good Times (sonnet)

When you hear a song, remember good times.
When you see a picture, remember smiles.
For there will be days smiles are hard to find,
And the good times only last for awhile.
People you trust may use and abuse you,
People that you love may cause you great pain.
So let the songs and the smiles get you through
Until you finally find love again.
There are some things I would like to forget,
Some memories that haunt me in the night.
I can truly say I have no regrets,
I did what I had to do, what was right.
People can blame me and say I was wrong,
But they didn't live my life all along.

Almost Gone (sonnet)

Just today, in front of the kitchen sink,
I stood for what seemed like over an hour.
"What is the problem?" I surely did think,
Why am I still giving this man power?
I remembered all the times he hurt me --
He said me washing dishes turned him on.
I cringed when I thought of the agony,
But then I remembered -- the bastard's GONE!
He cannot hurt me like that any more.
He can't trap me alone in my kitchen.
Somehow, I'm not as afraid as before,
Because someone took the time to listen.
I'll wash these plates and then just carry on,
For the hold he had on me's almost gone.

Never Be the Same (sonnet)

From the moment we met, I ceased to live.
My self became a shadow with no voice.
I gave you all of me that I could give.
You never even gave me one small choice.
I soon stopped even thinking for myself --
My thoughts didn't really matter at all.
It was your way or the highway, or else . . .
Either way, I was up against a wall.
Your brutal acts convinced me hope was dead.
I gave up even feeling what you did.
Each time you drug me off to go to bed,
I found a spot inside my head and hid.
A child was all I was before you came.
I know that I will never be the same.

Christmas in Reverse (sonnet)

It's almost like Christmas, but in reverse.
There are "gifts" to be opened and explored.
Known or unknown, I'm not sure which is worse --
One thing's for certain, I will not be bored!
I wrapped each mem'ry and stowed it away
Because the pain it held was much too great.
The time has come and today is the day --
No more excuses, no more time to wait.
Do I shake each "box" to see what appears?
Do I judge what is inside based on size?
Do I measure the impact based on tears,
Or do I poke and hope with tight-shut eyes?
I must admit, of this I'm most perplexed,
Which "present" shall I choose to open next?

A Journey Just Begun (sonnet)

Eenie, meenie, miney, mo -- just pick one.
The good, the bad, the ugly; all are there.
Nobody said this process would be fun,
But without pain, I won't get anywhere.
Don't want therapy to be my career.
I will do the work that needs to be done,
Break the bonds of trauma that hold me here,
Won't hide from anything or anyone.
Life is too short to live in yesterday,
Far too precious to wallow in sorrow.
No matter what, I'll try to find a way
To always keep focused on tomorrow.
This journey may be one I've just begun,
But I will not give up until I'm done.

Purging My Soul (sonnet)

Greeting memories of days now gone by,
Embracing emotions I could not feel.
Questions remain, and I still don't know why
The pain inside feels so real.
Releasing judgment and giving up blame,
I try to find a way to understand.
There's no reason for me to own this shame.
Letting go, I find a way to stand.
Purging my soul of the trauma within,
White-washing the walls of my heart with peace,
Believing that each trauma had an end,
I can fin'lly find some form of release.
From chaos to cathartic expression,
There's healing in each honest confession.

The Maze in My Mind (sonnet)

Ageless and nameless and faceless, I feel,
As though I do not fit in anywhere.
Are my thoughts or my feelings even real,
Or did some weird stroke of fate put them there?
There are some things I know with certainty,
But there are so many things that I doubt.
I have learned a great deal from books, you see,
But there's still so much I can't figure out. 
Do others struggle with questions like these,
Or am I just some special kind of freak?
Will my heart and mind ever be at ease?
Will I ever find the answers I seek?
How on earth will I ever hope to find
A way to explain the maze in my mind?

Was This the Only Way? (sonnet)

Gut wrenching sobs from the pit of my soul,
I try to stop, but the tears still flow on.
Feels like I'm broken in two, never whole,
All the days since my children have been gone.
I pray, but my prayers bounce right off the wall.
I beg and I plead for God to hear me.
I wish I could protect them from this all,
What I wouldn't give to have them near me.
But God is asleep, or maybe He's deaf,
Or maybe He just simply doesn't care.
I've cried til I haven't any tears left,
But it hasn't gotten me anywhere.
What is it that You're trying to teach me?
Was this the only way You could reach me?

Worn and Weary (sonnet)

How hard would it have been to just say "no,
I cannot stay and help you through the night.
Tomorrow I have places I must go,
And I can't function without sleeping right."
But no, I think I have to save the world,
That I must care for ev'rybody else.
But what about this worn and weary girl?
When will I learn to care about myself?
I worry so about what others think,
I don't want to inconvenience them.
So here I sit with my coffee to drink,
And will I sleep tonight? If not, then when?
Someday I really need to fin'lly learn
Not to let both ends of the candle burn.

Candy Land (sonnet)

So we're back to the game of Candy Land,
We're not stuck in the Lollipop Forest
Like we had been for weeks and weeks on end,
But in the Molasses Swamp now we "rest."
I don't know how many "turns" we'll spend here,
Perhaps we'll have to go back to the start.
I don't know how I'll dry up all my tears,
Or explain to my children's broken hearts.
How is it that this injustice can be?
How am I to deal with this load of pain?
Just when I thought life was setting us free,
My hopes were squashed completely flat again.
I don't know how much more pain I can take
Before I stop bending and fin'lly break.

One Chapter Closed (sonnet)

One chapter closed and another begins,
Or is it the end of a book and the
Start of a new one where the other ends;
Time to live what is and forget what was.
Where will I go on this, my new journey?
Will there be signs to guide along the way?
Will I be stuck here for eternity,
Or will I find myself a brighter day?
No iron fetters now to hold me back,
No bitter bonds of "love" to keep me still.
Unsure of what it is that I now lack,
I don't know the way, but find it I will.
The challenge of tomorrow seems immense.
But I'll manage it just like all the rest.

The Storm's Increased (sonnet)

I saw a lighthouse drawing me to shore,
A beacon of hope lit my shadowed path.
Distraught, I prayed in anguish to the Lord,
"Please let this storm I'm fighting be the last."
The thunder raged about me 'round the clock,
The waves came up and over on the deck.
I felt my ship pulled near the jagged rocks,
Yet still I clung to hope and craned my neck --
Yearning for a glimpse of the distant shore,
Longing to be rescued from all the pain,
Buffeted by gales I couldn't ignore,
Drowning in bucketfulls of pouring rain.
Just when I thought I'd find a resting place,
The storm's increased and trashed my flimsy faith.

Don't Give Up Now (sonnet)

A fire begins as just a single spark,
A flood begins as just a drop of rain,
A dream begins as a beat of your heart,
And miracles can happen despite pain.
Don't have to build a dam to stop a drip,
Don't have to win them all, just have to try.
Just take a step to start a longer trip,
You don't need any special wings to fly.
A thousand reasons to keep going on,
A hundred reasons to give in and quit.
You can't get back the days that are now gone,
Just take a breath and learn to deal with it.
There are still more battles yet to be won.
Don't give up now, you've only just begun!

The Rapist Walks Free (sonnet)

The memories still haunt me in the night,
The flashbacks still plague me during the day.
What about this picture is not right?
So many things I never got to say.
I never called the cops to come for him,
I chose, instead, to suffer in my shame.
It wasn't simply on a flimsy whim,
That I protected him and his "good name."
I thought about our kids, and shut my eyes
To all the hellish things he did to me.
I guess that it should come as no surprise
That things would turn out as they seem to be.
Justice does not exist (at least for me);
Tonight, my husband, the rapist, walks free.