I'll Always Be There (sonnet)

More than once, the thought of your small faces
Has kept me from doing things I'd regret.
I'm much more careful, now, going places --
Visiting memories I can't forget.
Your young lives are intertwined now with mine;
What's good for you matters more than all else.
As your mother, I spend most of my time
Thinking of you, and little of myself.
Each breath I take, I breathe only for you.
My child, you're loved more than you'll ever know.
I may not always choose what's right to do.
I may not always find a way to show
The way my world revolves around your care.
I'm not perfect, but I'll always be there.

A Moment to Remember (sonnet)

I pause here a moment to remember
All the babies I never got to hold,
And with a mother's love, warm and tender,
I ponder memories that won't grow cold.
Though they never even had a name,
Though their lungs took nary a single breath,
Yet still I wept and mourned each one the same,
And felt the stinging pain of ev'ry death.
Knowing that a child had grown there within,
One that would never see the light of day;
Knowing its little life would ne'er begin
Caused me pain that will never go away.
As eight balloons float to the skies above,
I pray they'll know they'll always have my love.

Was This the Only Way? (sonnet)

Gut wrenching sobs from the pit of my soul,
I try to stop, but the tears still flow on.
Feels like I'm broken in two, never whole,
All the days since my children have been gone.
I pray, but my prayers bounce right off the wall.
I beg and I plead for God to hear me.
I wish I could protect them from this all,
What I wouldn't give to have them near me.
But God is asleep, or maybe He's deaf,
Or maybe He just simply doesn't care.
I've cried til I haven't any tears left,
But it hasn't gotten me anywhere.
What is it that You're trying to teach me?
Was this the only way You could reach me?

Leaning on the Lord (sonnet)

Just put one foot in front of the other,
And just take one little step at a time.
Trust your subtle instincts as a mother,
Tell yourself, "ev'rything will be just fine."
Just wake up each and every morning,
And with a genuine smile, greet the day.
With each sunset as the daylight's fading,
Say, "we will all make it through this okay."
Never doubt God's power for a second,
Never falter from the path He shows you.
Never linger when His Spirit beckons,
Don't forget He made you and He knows you.
You'll find answers; keep trusting in His word.
You'll find comfort; keep leaning on the Lord.

Two Whole Hours (sonnet)

For two whole hours, I felt alive again,
Just to see my children smile, laugh and play.
I hadn't laughed like that since who knows when,
But now the melancholy's here to stay.
God, help me, I can't hold on much longer,
Each time I say goodbye, my heart breaks more.
I swear, I don't need to be much stronger,
Are you even watching or keeping score?
I'm trying to hold onto the joy, but
It slips from my hands each time they must go.   
And I'm left wondering exactly what
I will do as the days crawl by so slow.  
God, why can't anybody seem to see
That being without them is killing me?