Sadness (collage)

Then Comes the Night (sonnet)

By day, the sun is shining, oh so bright.
My future seems a promise within reach.
But then daylight fades, I'm frozen by fright,
And I forget all the sermons I preach.
Words are so easy to say and to write;
Acting on them's so much harder to do.
The loneliness creeps on in with the night,
Bringing the melancholy right along.
I struggle to do what I know is right;
It's hard to tell which shades of gray are wrong.
My heart will surely lead my steps astray.
I cannot trust all the things that I feel.
And as pitch darkness overcomes the day,
The pain comes back in waves so very real.
Just when I think I am on the right track,
Then comes the night, and the fear is right back.

Welcome to the Jungle (sonnet)

So welcome to the jungle, this is just
A taste of what awaits you in the weeds.
I'll let you have a sample, if you must,
I always have what everybody needs.
If pain is what you're seeking, I have it.
Stored up inside by the bushel and peck.
Just look down the hole, follow the rabbit,
And soon you'll be in hell up to your neck.
If love is what you search for, look elsewhere,
For I'm not even certain it exists.
I've been hurt so much by people who "care,"
But I don't know if there's something I've missed.
Won't you join me here in the jungle now?
I'm all alone here, waiting, anyhow.

Cold Duck and I (sonnet)

Cold duck and I are swimming all around,
Trying to make sense of why I am here.
Fighting to keep my feet firm on the ground,
Struggling to keep my entire mind clear.
Cold duck says I am all wrong for this pond,
I long for the land of ten thousand lakes.
It's a place for which I've always been fond,
Where even lame ducks sometimes get a break.
Cold duck and I think the world is too large;
Too many people with rules, oh so strange.
I wish, just for once, that I could take charge
Of life, of my destiny, for a change.
Cold duck and I only meet now and then,
'Twill be hard to wait 'til we meet again.

Somewhere, Someday, Somehow (sonnet)

Somewhere out there is there a man, like me,
Who seeks a mate to complement his soul.
Somewhere out there is someone who could be
The other half of me to make a whole.
Somewhere out there could be just the someone
I've never met, but yearned for all my life.
Someday perhaps, my loneliness all done,
I'll take my place as someone's cherished wife.
Somehow, maybe, God's will includes a mate,
A character that just might match with mine.
Someday, perhaps, if it is not too late,
I'll find the man for me, by God's design.
Somewhere, someday, somehow, if it's to be,
I'll find the one that God's prepared for me.

Sing Me a Lullaby (sonnet)

Can't somebody sing me a lullaby,
Like I think my mother always used to?
I can't sleep and I'm much too old to cry,
So what's a very tired woman to do?
Can't someone get me some milk in a glass,
And warm it like I remember she did,
Or hot cocoa, that would do the trick fast,
I would finally be sleeping instead.
Can't somebody rock me and hold me close,
Like I think my dad must have always done?
I think it's the hugs that I miss the most,
And being alone isn't any fun.
It's true that I'm being a big baby,
But even grownups have "those days," maybe.

All Sorts of "Friends" (sonnet)

I see only Darkness, as I look on;
A fog of Unknown, Unheard, and Unseen.
Pity's potholes fill the road walked upon,
And Hope gets lost so easily between.
Like a frightened child, I look all around
For someone who's willing to be my guide,
Someone to lift my feet up off the ground,
Someone to walk faithfully by my side.
Injustice waves a hand in the cold air
And volunteers to share my lonely path.
Depression tiptoes in out of nowhere,
And Doubt races to me through the high grass.
I'm not alone, I have all sorts of "friends."
It's this blasted journey that never ends.

Back Down This Road (sonnet)

I traveled to the place I thought was home,
But it felt strange returning there because
The years have passed and left me all alone,
A shriveled shadow of what I once was.
Inside I feel the same as in my youth,
Though I stopped living, life still passed me by.
I'm lost without a clue, and that's the truth.
I'm old and young at once, and don't know why.
Can someone tell me where my heart belongs?
Can someone show me how to find my way?
Can someone help me somehow right the wrongs
That stole the years from me, killed yesterday?
I cannot stay, but hate that I must go
Back down this road, whose end I do not know.

New Artwork - Shadow Girl

This one is about how even though I'm a grown woman, I still sometimes feel like a frightened little girl that's all alone.  I get so tired of being "strong" and telling my kids that "everything's gonna be okay" when I don't know if it ever will be.   Sometimes I just wish there was somebody there to hold me and tell ME that everything's gonna be okay.  Is it?  Will it EVER be okay?